long time no blog

work's bin hectic,nt been able to blog for a while and dis is gona continue for a bit til the routine changes.anyway...hope u all are good.


dont forget to keep ur hed up

ciao.

DO YOU?(4 apple)

Dearest apple,

m thinking wat u doing at the moment.i aint used to this life,i feel like m alone in dis world.av got my family yeh,but u know wat we had was even more than i thot family could do for me(dont get me wrong o,i love my family to bits,but my life wit apple was different)maybe thats the mistake i made...did i bare it all too much?(i couldnt have had a beta way of loving you).are u thinking wat am thinking?(can i really do this much longer?)are u even thinking bout me at all?cos u act so different now.

i remember all the times you wer moved by the things i sed,bout how much i loved you and how i could neva let you go(i kept to my words at least),seeing tears in your eyes made me believe it was the real thing(or was all that a show?)u swore to hold on to us even if i tried leaving you.i was the more romantic and more emotional one,and i was grateful you wer not ashamed to cry before me(hmmm).

i dint have a care in the world as far as i had you.you wer my heartbeat,my own interpretation of a happy life...we had our down moments but fighting was interesting cos i looked forward to making up with you.making up was beautiful cos after talking things ova we'd make paaaaaaassionate lov to eachotha.we had a funny way of understanding eachotha(tho it was tough sometimes).

i spend every waking moment thinkin bout you..everything reminds me of you(so how can i eva forget you)?m a confused girl rite nw...remember the morning u called me up?and u sed i wasnt your girl no more?i wanted the ground to give way cos i thot u wer breaking up wit me,then u went on to say we wer more than that to eachotha,and i was ur lady n nt ur girlfriend,and u wer my man and nt my boyfriend no more(thank heavens).we wer moving up the ladder babes...how could i have thot anything was gona stand in the way?it was picture perfect.

i forgave u ur mistakes,tho u solemnly acknowledged the fact that u cheated wen we dint see for 6months cos u wer away for that long(nt to lie,it hurt ),but i let that slide cos i dint want that to come between us and undastood it was a phase u went through.did that make u take me for granted?cos i dint make noise at the time?did that make u think i was desperate to keep us?it was just my way of showing u i was gona love u unconditionally.did u think my honest and patient heart was cheap?

i know how much attention u got from the ladies bt i always thot my heart was safe with you,thats why u wer the only one i could trust with my darkest of secrets,i told u even the things i'd been thru that made me feel so ashamed merely thinking bout them...

do i feel let down?(obviosly)crashed my self esteem?(ehhhhmmm....a tad bit),wud i trust anoda?(m doubting dat seriosly)wud i love the way i loved you again?(pretty low probability),wud i eva forget u?(not happening)do i feel like thers any justice in dis world?(hell no).

i hope u think bout me half as much as i do.
i hope u realise soon enof that ur making a mistake.
i hope u snap out of ur trance and come looking for me again.
i hope,i hope,i hope.............

lov u always,
sugar

testing testing testing

alrite pipl,been reading otha blogs over time and been getin inspired or identified with the situatn or beta still lafd my hed off.past couple of months been painfl for dis babe meeeen,(but not as painful as it is for me now),cos all of a sudden its jst dawning on me....that things are nt exactly how they seem.

anyways we'l take it one step at a time,dats if ur willing to walk with me....basically,m a sucker for lov and i know i wouldnt be in dis situation if i wasnt....m gona tell u all of it bout it tho.

i dont know if thers anybody thats so into their relationship as me..for certain reasons wich ud probably find out for urselves soon,my commitment to my boyfreind was jst diffrent.ok lets call him apple(sounds sissyish ay?)

apple was everything to me....we met in my first yer in uni (did i hear u say puppy lov?)it quickly escalated into a mch more serios one than that.we wer the couple everyotha couple envied..they wanted to be like us cos we wer jst inseperable(dont evn think i can put everything in the rite words for u to undastand how serios our relationship ws)we did everything togeda(bt still gave room for breathing space)apple ws my best friend,the brother i neva had,the father i lost wen i was 9,my companion,soulmate,my otha half...and i mean every.

seriosly,98% of the ppl had something to say bout us,good or bad.....but at least they just always talked bout the cutest couple,best dressed couple,best couple (ther was no category we wer nt qualified for,cos we wer "all that",cant deny that fact o).we won awards in skool,got nominated outside of skool(i really need to be careful cos m gettin paranoid someone wud guess easily who i am),taking a cue from the "apple and sugar" tale.


i feel the tears well up in the corner of my eyes.......dunno if i can type as mch as i want today,dis journey is only just beginin and i fear wat tomorro'l bring.m here,relentlessly praying,silently hoping and solemnly wishing that someone will pinch me and tell me to wake up from dis trance,my vision's gettin blurred............if only somethig dint go wrong.bt wat exactly went wrong?

jst incase

for some reason i think ppl are gona find out who sugar is,maybe not a whole bunch bt if one persn knows,its sure to spread like wildfire.so m apologising for the future....incase u read anything about u n u get offended,m really sorry but i cant help it cos i just need to be me and narrate my stories the way they are.m nt gona try to be creative bt will let it flow the way it should.no add or minus salt or pepper so ejo bear with me cos i just have to....

need to retire now cos dis babe loves her sleep,will start blogging proper tomoro,dunno why i started dis blog in the first place,not like av got such time to spare bt regardless will do all i can to update sharpish...sleeptite my blogville family.ciao

hey pipl..

finally m on blogspot.m i gona lov dis place and its pipl?lets see.
m hoping being here's gona help cos in as much as i dont wana face it av got a few issues i need to come to terms with,maybe not a few but just one thats driving me nuts.....love

i hope dis blog's gona make me stronger cos m here cos i want dis to be my therapy....talk to y'all soon